X-EmptyLover-X

The world I live in is complex and sometimes even I have no fucking clue whats going on. Well the past day and a half have been hell!
To begin I will start with my lover he lives far away and things have been perfect untill yesterday (if only yesterday would die) we got into a small fight about something stupid.
    Long story short I was depressed and got people worked up over nothing and my Ex girl friend thought with the fight that she might have an opening to get closer to me and she's trying and her last journal scared me! anyway me and my lover are at least talking again though I still have no clue whats going on! so for now I'm going to leave you all but I will be bacj with drama "class" part two

Yo persons
I is leaving for new york tonight and I is sad and happy at the same time. I am going to miss you persons but I think I will have a good time in NYC. don't anybody forget about me now. I love you all and will miss you till I get back on sunday night. Angel call me this week end...and if you don't get the first time...leave a message and leave your number then try back in an hour or so if I don't call back! I will work on that love story you asked for while I'm in NYC. any way happy trails yall...and can't ya tell I'm from the south...bye

I hate feeling nothing. Empty and cold is extremly unplesent. I souldn't feel like this but I do...maybe it's hormonies or something but whatever it is i feel horrible and I wish I could find my boyfriend. *pouts and is sad*

lately I don't really know who I am. I have gained four relationships and lost three, I highly suspect the one I have now to brust into flame any day now. In all the confusing emotions I have had in the past three months of this mayhem I have lost myself ... who I am ... or who I was.
       In my mind I am still attached to one relationship. I went out with a guy named jesse blackwell and continueously he shreaded my heart every time i gave it, which because I'm obbessed with him was alot. He said once that he loved me but I think that was a lie. I think I want him but my problem is that I fatasize about him and now I cant tell what emotions I have gotten from him and what I have gotten from the illusions. Right now my head is extreamly fucked up and I'm depressed by my existing at all. Even though I love the boyfriend I have now I don't think he really likes me...guys ask me out for no reason, or it seams to be a pattern as of late.
       You know your sad when you're bisexual and still can't find real love, even with the girls I have dated I'm not loved...was there a point to this????????????????? awww fuck it

I am girlfriend to this guy who will not shut up about other girls he likes. I'm tired of it but I still love the feeling of his lips over mine and the warm sensation that floods through me when we touch...sorry that was me lossing touch with reality anyway I think I love him and I hate to be alone. fuck well there really is no point to this so bye...lol